更新1:
All i ever wanted to do was help him. Out of his depression and drug addiction, yet he would go back and forth and just played with my feelings. He would offend me and embarass me, and hurt me and all i ever did was love him unconditionally.
What do I do now? Why do bad things happen to good people?
2006-09-30 7:38 am
I talked to my ex finally and he doesn’t want to get back with me, he told me there wasn’t any chance we’d get back together ever again, and he thought I understood it was just sex and he agrees we shouldn’t have sex anymore. I told him we couldn’t talk anymore either, and I am so sad and devastated. I really don’t know what to with myself right now. I am so hurt by him. I don’t want to say he lead me on but how could he move on so fast? Our relationship ended 2 weeks ago and he already says he’s back to normal and can date other people. To be honest I don’t know why he doesn’t love me and he says he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. I guess it’s hard when im crying over the phone, but still I wish he’d be honest instead of beating around the bush. Why do I love him so much if he doesn’t love me in return? How can I allow myself these feelings when they are not returned? I don’t know what to do to move on and I feel I may never get over him. I might be able to finally function normally, but I’ll never get over him. He says he loved me at one time in our relationship but I think he’s lying. How could he and be fine now? He says his love for me was different. Why does he hurt me so bad? I told him we can’t talk anymore and he said ok that’s fine. He said I’m good in bed and I said maybe we can just be friends and talk occasionally but not sleep with each other, and he said no. Apparently he just wanted sex. He said if he wasn’t benefiting from hearing about me then why would he talk to me? Why is he such an asshole? I am so traumatized and I don’t know when I’ll trust again. We’ve broken up so many times and I’ve fallen into a deep depression many times, but right now I am beside myself with sadness. .I know its for real now and all I can see now is a future without him and it seems so depressing to know I’ll have to move on only because HE didn’t want ME. It wouldn’t be that way if he had just wanted me and not been so difficult. Who does he think he is anyway? He will never find another girl like me, he won’t get a girl as beautiful as me to love him this much. Why do you guys let a good thing go? *tears* * tears* *tears streaming down my cheek*.
回答 (11)
2006-09-30 7:46 am
✔ 最佳答案
breathe, just breathe, he does love you and he is hurt I PROMISE!!! men handle grief differently and that's them, you will see the truth eventually but never be weakened by it! It will take some time but he will be this guy who you loved and will never forget, but in your heart you know you deserve better, so take a moment morn the relationship and discover all the things you want and leave men out for now. You will be okay, it hurts like hell now but I really do swear it gets better, you do for you and you will see how much you are better, good luck and remember you are great and loved, you are loved, you are loved, do you hear me, you are loved!!! big hugs
2006-09-30 8:10 am
I really feel for you. I've been there many times. I remember the first break up that i felt that way, to the break-up that happened just three weeks ago. I still feel the same. It's always gonna hurt when someone tells you that they don't give a crap about you.
There are no easy answers to any of your questions. I know in my case, i'm starting to realize that i thrive on rejection, as ridiculous as that sounds, its like i set myself up for it in every relationship. I go for the man that needs me, he might not love me, but he needs me. He's everything I want, and I become his caretaker. I never understand how he could hurt me with awful comments about not loving me and so on, just like your ex has done . Especially when i've done nothing but care for him. Its almost as if we're begging to be loved.
There are no easy answers to any of your questions. I know in my case, i'm starting to realize that i thrive on rejection, as ridiculous as that sounds, its like i set myself up for it in every relationship. I go for the man that needs me, he might not love me, but he needs me. He's everything I want, and I become his caretaker. I never understand how he could hurt me with awful comments about not loving me and so on, just like your ex has done . Especially when i've done nothing but care for him. Its almost as if we're begging to be loved.
參考: In my last relationship that lasted 4 years, every day I felt like I was having to beg him to stay. Even if this man ever loved me to begin with, i'm sure all of my insecurities made him see me differently than he did at first. You need to get some counseling before your as old as i am (46), and still getting treated like crap. Most likely the relationship wasn't all rosy anyway, and why would you want to stay with someone that really doesn't love you. It will hurt for awhile, but try and busy yourself with other things (read some self-help books). Don't dwell on it. We've got to stop being the sad whoa is me girls that we make ourselves to be. Aren't you tired of being miserable. I know I am. Theres alot more to life than having a man. Do some soul searching. We've got to change. Start caring about yourself more. Know that your good enough. Sometimes too good. People will always take advantage of others that will let them. Dry your eyes, and move on. He's not worthy of you.
2006-09-30 7:55 am
Hear me out. Bad things do not happen to good people. Bad things happen to people who are too nice and are not assertive enough to say no. Be good and be nice, but do learn how to say no and say it with authority. Do say no to negative influences. Say no to bad boys or bad girls. Say no to people who take and will not give back. Say no to people who will break your heart and are souless.
Nice people do not finish last. I am a nice guy and I do not finish last. You just gotta know where to draw a line and not let people take advantage of you. When you are not assertive enough, when you will not stick up for yourself, then you will finish last and so deservingly.
Do not stay in a relationship if it is not making you happy. I have been down that road before and will not go down it again if I can help it. Do be the most wonderful and caring lover a woman or guy can have. Be giving of yourself, but also DON'T BE AFRAID TO BOLT when he or she is disrespectful, uncaring, unfulfilling or your self respect is conflicted. You will find someone else.
Take it from a guy who has been dumped many times by women. It is always their loss and not yours. Rejection is painful, but pain is only temporary. If you really want to get back at the knucklehead who dumped you and used you for sex, be a happier person than he. Go out and date others guys. Don't let someone hook you like this. If he really loved you, then he wouldn't hurt you. Since he didn't love you, are you losing anything?
Nice people do not finish last. I am a nice guy and I do not finish last. You just gotta know where to draw a line and not let people take advantage of you. When you are not assertive enough, when you will not stick up for yourself, then you will finish last and so deservingly.
Do not stay in a relationship if it is not making you happy. I have been down that road before and will not go down it again if I can help it. Do be the most wonderful and caring lover a woman or guy can have. Be giving of yourself, but also DON'T BE AFRAID TO BOLT when he or she is disrespectful, uncaring, unfulfilling or your self respect is conflicted. You will find someone else.
Take it from a guy who has been dumped many times by women. It is always their loss and not yours. Rejection is painful, but pain is only temporary. If you really want to get back at the knucklehead who dumped you and used you for sex, be a happier person than he. Go out and date others guys. Don't let someone hook you like this. If he really loved you, then he wouldn't hurt you. Since he didn't love you, are you losing anything?
2006-09-30 7:52 am
that's so sad 2 read,i loved a woman about 5 years age, i loved her with all my heart and soul,ur letter really hits a cord with me,but trust me YOU will get over him,YOU will move on and YOU will be a stronger person because of this man.life is one big learning curve and we are all learning. I wish you all the luck and happiness in the world and I'm sure that you will find it
2006-09-30 7:49 am
See! This is it! He is NO GOOD for you! No point wasting Ur time and emotions for him. More U think U have been good to him, more U will regret!
2006-09-30 7:47 am
i'm a guy and i loved this girl as much as you do. our cirumstances were that we were thousands of miles away and our parents didnt approve of us. so hard. i feel like she loved me so much and i did also. i know i'll never find another girl like her. but.. even as hard as it is, im trying 2 giv her up. she was perfect, but your ex sounds 2 harsh to you. i mean, boys are kind of sensitive, but he should be so brash. try ur hardest 2 forget him, give it a few months, then if u havent moved on... kill urself! JOKE! just pray alot and keep urself busy.
2006-09-30 7:47 am
Wow..okay...first of all that totally SUCKS and my heart goes out to you.
Second of all...is it possible that it never really was that good to begin with? Really think about that question before you answer it...just based on what you've written it's always been rocky
Third...He obviously can't see a good thing when it's in front of his face. But sweetie...
you can't make him see...
what he can't see.
Read that again okay? He can't see what he can't see. It is his own insecurities, history, self worth, etc that is limiting him.
IT ISN'T ABOUT YOU!
Hear that okay?
It is about him...it's not about you.
You are still a beautiful, valueable, intelligent woman whether he CHOOSES to see it or not.
Accept what has happened, after all you can't change it...right?
Pick up and move on Girl!
YOU DESERVE MORE!
Good luck babe :)
Second of all...is it possible that it never really was that good to begin with? Really think about that question before you answer it...just based on what you've written it's always been rocky
Third...He obviously can't see a good thing when it's in front of his face. But sweetie...
you can't make him see...
what he can't see.
Read that again okay? He can't see what he can't see. It is his own insecurities, history, self worth, etc that is limiting him.
IT ISN'T ABOUT YOU!
Hear that okay?
It is about him...it's not about you.
You are still a beautiful, valueable, intelligent woman whether he CHOOSES to see it or not.
Accept what has happened, after all you can't change it...right?
Pick up and move on Girl!
YOU DESERVE MORE!
Good luck babe :)
2006-09-30 7:47 am
He sounds like a jerk. the only thing you really can do is try to get over him because he obviously doesnt like you or have any respect for you at all. Move on and find someone who will actually care about u and not treat you like $H1T
2006-09-30 7:44 am
Welcome to life. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices we don't want. People go through things differently, and i had to learn the very hard way too, but life does not stand still. I am sorry that you are feelingthis way, but there are plenty of good guys still out there. am one of them. eventually u'll find one who will appreciate you as you. someone who will take you triumphs and faults and love them both. hope it works well for you.
參考: Interesting how a sad person has such perfect english, too perfect. like and edited section copied from a book.
2006-09-30 7:44 am
Let him go. You are more worthwhile than that.
2006-09-30 7:42 am
Just mark it down as memories and move on and make new friends find a new love and in time your scars and pain will be healed.Good Luck
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