I need some advice?
2006-05-11 11:32 pm
I think my husband has a drinking problem i have asked him to try to get help but he says he has no problem things between me and him are not good help
回答 (14)
2006-05-11 11:35 pm
✔ 最佳答案
Set down with a BIG bottle of Vodka and talk this thing through.
2006-05-12 7:03 am
Contact your local Alcoholics Annonymous. They are there to offer support to the alcoholic as well as the family members and they may be able to help you figure out if your husband truly has a problem. Although the fact that he denies having a problem, inicates he probably does. You may also consider seing a therepist. You can ask him to go with you, but chances are, he won't want to since he believes he has no problem. You won't be able to force him into anything he doesn't want to do, but you can go alone to sort out your own thoughts and feelings. Sooner or later it will come down to the fact that any relationship requires some basic elements to survive... respect, honesty, trust, faithfuess and good communication. These elements have to be given by both partners. He should respect you enough to be able to talk about any issue that has you concerned.
2006-05-12 6:55 am
If you think this, it pro bally is true. I had an uncle who had a great wife and threw it away for alc. All i no is that the harder she tried to fix him (not wanting to be fixed) the harder her life got. It's all in how much you can stand. Is it wroth fighting for? If so give all you got. Try turning to god. He works wonders to those that ask!
2006-05-12 6:49 am
unfortunately until he realizes he has a problem you cant help him but you can help yourself. there are places you can go to get help for people living with an alcoholic. good luck...
2006-05-12 6:45 am
Why do YOU think he has a drinking problem? some people drink some alcohol everyday BUT I would not automatically say they have a drinking problem. If you accused him of this right off the bat I can see him being defensive. You also say things are not good between you.Are you sure that is not the REAL issue for both YOU and HIM? Is he drinking to escape that? You have to show him proof that he has done or not done certain things because of his drinking. You can also offer him a challenge with a special reward. I think someone has a drinking problem when they start to miss appts., work, etc because they are getting a drink. See if he can stop for a time period for that reward.
2006-05-12 6:41 am
Hello,
When someone has a drink or drug problem they believe everyone else is at fault and they are being ridiculous even suggesting there is a problem. Truth is these people fail to realise at all, until it is too late and life changes leaving them on a downward spiral. It depends how much your partner thinks of you and what lengths he is prepared to go to save your marriage. Ultimately until he comes back to the real world and has a wake up call your marriage is failing. My advice is that you start to call the shots now and you stick rigidly to your decisions because if he is not prepared to change your life will go down with his. MM
When someone has a drink or drug problem they believe everyone else is at fault and they are being ridiculous even suggesting there is a problem. Truth is these people fail to realise at all, until it is too late and life changes leaving them on a downward spiral. It depends how much your partner thinks of you and what lengths he is prepared to go to save your marriage. Ultimately until he comes back to the real world and has a wake up call your marriage is failing. My advice is that you start to call the shots now and you stick rigidly to your decisions because if he is not prepared to change your life will go down with his. MM
2006-05-12 6:41 am
Ask him to watch doctor if it's really serious problem.
Hide his drinks only make him angry.
If he tried to beat you or doing something to hurt you.
You can tell him, if he loves you, he knows he needs to handle the problem.
Hide his drinks only make him angry.
If he tried to beat you or doing something to hurt you.
You can tell him, if he loves you, he knows he needs to handle the problem.
2006-05-12 6:41 am
I dont' know what your situation is but I went through this with my ex for 3 years. It progressivley got worse and worse and we fought more and more. I ended up leaving him 2 and a half years ago. Shortly after he ended up hitting rock bottom (because I left) and just recently got out of rehab for alcoholism a few months ago.
I hope your situation doesn't end up like mine did. Just make sure you stay true to yourself and stand up for what's right for you and your family. I waited for things to get better, or to go away and they didn't. Eventually you will have to stand up for yourself. A marriage is about compromise. If he knows his drinking is concerning you, he should compromise with you at least to a point you feel comfortable with.
Try to find an AA checklist of alcoholic symptoms and go over it with him. You may even want to try counseling if things get out of control.
Best of luck.
I hope your situation doesn't end up like mine did. Just make sure you stay true to yourself and stand up for what's right for you and your family. I waited for things to get better, or to go away and they didn't. Eventually you will have to stand up for yourself. A marriage is about compromise. If he knows his drinking is concerning you, he should compromise with you at least to a point you feel comfortable with.
Try to find an AA checklist of alcoholic symptoms and go over it with him. You may even want to try counseling if things get out of control.
Best of luck.
2006-05-12 6:41 am
Talk to him , show him care and love and request him to drink only in presence of you...and as far as possible not with his friends..one gets carried away when he is Friends ...he will be in control when he is with you..and thus will slowly reduce drinking..try to get his attention off drinking..go out , sporting , hiking , biking venture out..he might will reduce drinking.
2006-05-12 6:39 am
Unfortunately there is nothing you can do besides leave him as even if you get him help until he is ready to admit it he has a problem he wont listen to any help. You can try to be understanding and find out if he really has a drinking problem or maybe something else is bothering him.
2006-05-12 6:37 am
WHAT A SHOCK an alcoholic that denies it!!! Yeah your husband is probably so drunk he doesnt realize theres a problem. GET OUT FAST if he cant even admit he drinks too much and you see it (im sure others do too). If you have no kids together and no reason NOT to leave the do it, go to a friends, go to family, get a second job, do whateevr you have to to get out, alcoholics usually dont do anything about it until soemone gets hurt. Dont let that hurt person be you! If you have to place an anonymous tip and get him arrested for drunk driving or public intoxication. If he is really bad and just sits at home drinking every night tell him get to AA or get out.
2006-05-12 6:37 am
DENIAL is the first stage..do research that way you can come at him better prepared and he knows youa are serious about the situation,
2006-05-12 6:36 am
TELL him if he does not stop you will leave him.
2006-05-12 6:35 am
This is hard. You think he has a drinking problem. What makes you think that? Does he miss work? Has he lost friends? Does he spend all his pay at the bar? Does he hit you?
Different people define "drinking problem" in different ways. If you can answer yes to the questions I asked, then he probably does have a problem, however, he is never going to admit to it.
My advice...I'm no professional but I have years of life experience...leave him. Drinking problems only get worse, not better.
Different people define "drinking problem" in different ways. If you can answer yes to the questions I asked, then he probably does have a problem, however, he is never going to admit to it.
My advice...I'm no professional but I have years of life experience...leave him. Drinking problems only get worse, not better.
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